Confidence is the quality of being bold and assertive. It is an essential attribute for facing the challenges, situations and trials that life throws at us. Dr. Hendrie Weisinger of Psychology Today defines it as the belief and feel that you can perform a task successfully. Timidity robs one of juicy opportunities, lowers self-esteem, encourages giving up easily, and makes others trample on you. You would have discovered that some children are naturally more predisposed to being confident than their contemporaries, their temperament and personality are the major factors that influence this trait intensity in them. Therefore as a parent you will need to make special efforts to build confidence in your child if you notice he/she is timid and mostly fearful.
What then are the signs of low confidence? Shyness, nervousness, fearfulness, unnecessary anxiety when faced with tasks, not speaking up and constant jitters when facing a large group of people amongst many others. The fallout of not being confident is that these children will be easy targets of bullies, they will recoil from class or social responsibilities, and they may become tongue-tied when they face people. As a parent these characteristics can be heartbreaking because you want your child to be a high flyer. What is the best way to tackle lack of confidence in your child? What methods and resources are available to help him/her overcome timidity? How intensely should you pursue boosting your child’s confidence? Read on and find answers to these crucial questions.
There are no hard and fast rules on how to tackle lack of confidence in your child, using a combination of approaches will help you better achieve your intention. To start with, desist from out rightly rebuking your child about his/her lack of confidence. When others talk about their timidity, do your best to highlight their strengths and discuss how you are working on making them better. For example, “James is just very perceptive, he likes to study what’s going on before going all out. We are teaching him how to be more assertive and prompt in taking responsibilities.” This kind of statement assures your child that come what may, you’ve got his/her back and also let them know their weakness needs to be worked on.
Furthermore, have a heart to heart talk with your child. Let it be known that confidence will most times be a defining factor for success and great opportunities in life, ask them their fears and one by one proffer practical ways out. Thirdly, work out constant practice times based on the result of your discussions. If he/she dreads facing the crowd, start practicing how to overcome this. Put a mirror before them, let them speak while you correct appropriately. Once this stage has been well digested, bring the child before siblings and make them a mock crowd, later you can add their friends and others. Continually find ways to make each session fun and ensure you give rewards for progress. You should also sign less confident children for social programs and projects where they will interact with others and will be propelled to compete healthily.
Resources that you can use abound, read them stories of courageous women and men in history and the world today. This will give an understanding that anything can be achieved or overcome by sheer confidence. Use the play-way method to give tasks or projects, children are more responsive when fun is added to responsibilities. Watch videos that will help in specific areas they have issues with, and encourage practice. Paste posters of courage in their rooms filled with words that will elicit an “I can do spirit” in them.
Finally, do not rush the child. Don’t be overly intense or aggressive, take it one day at a time. Do not show your disappointment when they progress with the pace of a snail, rather be a role model by showing that you are confident that they will be confident in the long run.
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